I Stand Amazed
by Fuuga Kumi
Summary: Set pre-bbs. Terra and Aqua and the sacrifices made by their hearts to attain their dreams. May contain spoilers


**I Stand Amazed **

Opening Note: This piece was originally written to fill a secret santa request over at kh_drabble. I was given the prompt of Terra/Aqua "unrequited love". This is my first time writing them, so I apologize for any inconsistencies in their characters, also this entire piece was written to Vienna Teng's "Eric's song" please look it up on youtube as I feel it very much suits this particular couple. Also, may contain light spoilers for the BBS game.

_"Strange how this journey's hurting_  
_ In ways we accept as part of fate's decree" -_ Vienna Teng_, Eric's Song  
_

She's little more than a spot of soft light (her sleeves, he thinks, her skin. Her heart) where she sits on a blanket, surrounded by the summit's darkness, the lamps overhead dimmed and smelling of magic. She'd crossed the grounds before him, already dancing lazy circles beneath the stars when he'd hurriedly dropped his book to follow. (Required reading from Master Eraqus: _The Practical Application of Theories Concerning the Balance of Light and Dark_. Long, stodgy, and as clunky as the title.)

"I didn't expect to see you tonight," she says.

He shrugs wordlessly, willing to let her keep the almost-lie; it's all part of their game, after all - this delicate tip-toeing around each other, the way they feign surprise when they touch, as if they hadn't both been entirely too aware of the other's movement. Maybe he lets his arm brush against hers as he settles down on the blanket beside her, and maybe she shifts so their knees bump together, and maybe they decide to stay that way, almost barely meeting. So what?

"Look at them all, Terra." She gestures up at the sky with her free hand - the one not pretending to not touch Terra's own. "All those worlds and they're going to be _our_ responsibility." A happy sigh, like there's no better thought in the whole universe.

There hadn't been any special emphasis on the _our_, nor extra meaning behind the sigh, he knows this - but for a moment his heart skips a beat and he wonders what it _would_ take to end this charade and woo her correctly. Aqua wasn't one to be impressed with flowers and cheap chocolates and bad poetry... and, really, what more could he offer when they both stand with the stars at their feet?

She nudges him with her shoulder, gives him a concerned look. "You're being weird tonight. Are you feeling okay?"

He thinks of all the things he could say. _I'm just listening to you_ wouldn't be too bad, maybe. Or _do you know, your eyes shine like the stars themselves_ which would be significantly worse and no way is he saying that out loud. "You're hogging the blanket, I'm getting dew-damp over here," is the much less eloquent answer he finally gives - and really, it's no surprise when Aqua shoves him fully onto the grass and rolls the edges of the blanket around her shoulders.

-

Sometimes Terra has to wonder if he's the only one playing their secret game, because nothing seems to affect her the way it does him. He's constantly aware of her at the worst times, like when they're sparring and his head is full of inane little facts that he's only just becoming aware of. Things like the way she always smells of a fresh spring day, or the way she smiles just a little when she thinks she has the upper hand, or the fact that she doesn't need her keyblade to be scarily good because she's equally deadly at hand to hand. But just like that, he's _glad_ that she's Aqua through and through, nothing like those flitty girls from the market town, because they're as insubstantial as a breeze (and maybe because he can't even imagine any of them lighting up happily the way she does when she sets her opponents' toes on fire.)

Of course, letting himself get overwhelmed by her tends to lead to trouble and a short-circuited brain, but that's always the way with crushes (because yes, this is just a crush, and he'll get over it and he can't… they can't, because there is already so much needed of them to do this now. Please, not now) and she's winning a few matches too many.

She's breathless, smiling, asking what's wrong with him today. All he can do is stare up at her from the ground (a place he seems to be ending up more often than not. He has _got_ to stop doing this) and says something _stupid_ like "you're pretty."

Now she's flustered, blushing, and looking everywhere but at him - and he realizes, suddenly, just _how_ ill-prepared they are for moments like this, and so finishes, rather lamely, "-sweaty. You're pretty sweaty."

(She probably sees right through it, but it looks like this gets to be _his_ free pass.)

They head back inside - to walls and structure and the weight of their titles (_apprentice_), where it's easy to pretend they didn't brush hands a little longer than necessary as she helped him up. Even if she _did_ punch him afterward.

-

It gets easier when Ventus arrives. They'd always taken their roles seriously, whether friend or apprentice - or now, sibling. Ven becomes their little brother, someone to focus on, someone who has to relearn so much... and someone who acts as an effective, if well-loved, buffer between them.

Now, when it becomes too much to be alone in the same room, someone (Aqua, normally) will say, "I'll go check on Ven," and the other will nod, as if this was the best idea ever, because he was starting to wonder how well her hand would fit into his own. Or during sparring, when someone (Terra, in these situations) is finding himself too distracted by blue eyes and full lips, he will say, "Hey, Ven, you need more practice," and "Go easy on him, Aqua," and she'll nod, because after all, two is three now. They can't leave anyone behind.

-

Eventually Terra manages to train himself to look on things that don't send his mind reeling into wanting (and lately, he seems to _want_ so much): a lock of hair, the glint of an earring, the angle of her arm, the curve of her shoulder - except no, that last one wasn't such a good idea after all.

He makes a promise to his heart. After this whole debacle with the Unversed is settled, after Master Eraqus has seen his second chance was not wasted, after... after, he'll stop hiding. He'll find Aqua again, and they'll both talk it out, finally standing on even ground.


End file.
